When To Use It
Use this when the main task is objective effectiveness: asking for something, saying no, or setting a boundary in a specific conversation.
DEAR MAN Script Planning Tool
DEAR MAN is a DBT interpersonal effectiveness planning tool for practitioners helping clients prepare a concrete request, refusal, or boundary-setting conversation. It helps organize the client's own situation into facts, feelings, ask or limit, reinforcement, focus, confidence, and negotiation points.
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Tool guide
Learn more about this tool
Use this background section to understand when the tool fits, how practitioners use it, and what to consider before sharing it with clients.
What It Does Not Do
The tool does not score relationship quality, diagnose the interaction, judge who is right, or predict whether the conversation will succeed.
Can the practitioner change the DEAR MAN sequence?
No. The DEAR MAN sequence is fixed; changing it would change the product.
Can this be used for a refusal as well as a request?
Yes. The plan supports a request, refusal, or boundary-setting conversation when the client has a clear objective.
What happens if the client does not know their objective?
The plan stays in preparation state and shows the objective as a coaching need.
Does the demo require real client information?
No. The public demo uses fictional, non-identifying sample content and does not require sensitive client details.